Even as I write this I know that people are thinking “I mean obviously having two babies at once is hard, duh”. But the thing is that I truly don’t think that the having two at once is the hardest part – of course it’s some of the reason but I also don’t know any different. Twins is the only experience I’ve had, I don’t know at all what it’s like to only have one baby to worry about.
Being a mom to any number of kids is hard. There’s very little that’s easy about it. I hear (often) from other parents that Derek and I are for some reason superhuman because we have to manage twins and we truthfully don’t see it that way at all. This is the reality we’re in just like every other parent walks their path too! I think the things that we find hard are different from what others expect would be the hardest parts.
A few of the things we find difficult with twins:
Missing out on baby cuddles because one baby is always cranky when the other one wants to be held. It’s a constant struggle between wanting to just soak in every second of cuddling one baby and needing to console the other.
Needing to always have your attention constantly split. Just recently Everett has gotten close to taking his first steps but Oliver isn’t quite there yet. Derek and I had a conversation about it because we realized that we maybe were giving too much attention while encouraging Everett and we have to be cautious not to do that.
Double the mess, always. That one speaks for itself and is probably expected
The fact that twins learn social dynamics from the second they’re born and truly even before. I remember how they interacted in my belly and trust me I could tell when they were fighting even then. It’s been an observation I made not too long ago just bringing them around other babies that don’t necessarily have another baby around them all the time. The boys are so used to having another baby in their face constantly pulling their hair or taking the toy they want or getting the attention. They’ve had to learn the intricacies of sharing and patience and kindness far earlier than I think they would have otherwise.
Getting them out of the house alone. I’m the parent home with the boys during the day everyday and if we want to leave the house, it’s me that has to manage that. I stopped being able to carry them both in their car seats because it just got far too heavy but then carrying them out to the car and trying to maneuver one into their car seat while I’m still holding the other baby is… a spectacle to say the least. If any other moms of multiples have any tips on making that transition ANY easier I’m all ears!
Likes & Dislikes. This just recently became a thing because they’re eating a greater amount of solids. Understanding that they both won’t necessarily like the same foods honestly didn’t even occur to me for whatever reason. You think twins and you think they’re the same person and they’re absolutely not. Everett has the sweet tooth he loves fruit whereas Oliver can’t get enough veggies. Finding balance between those so I don’t just have an overabundance of every food imaginable or the tiny humans is tough. Luckily both seem to dig eggs & pasta so I work around those.
Listen, I’m not saying that double the diapers, double the bottles, double the laundry isn’t hard. It’s very difficult but we adjusted to those things a long time ago. Those first few weeks with them really kicked our asses in gear in a hurry!
Really as moms as long as we can all get through the week with our spirits intact who cares that it’s day 4 of dry shampoo…. just me?! Let’s remember that being a parent feels like this most days: