As a twin mom (and I’m sure other moms of multiples can attest to this) I get asked a LOT of questions. I get asked questions by friends, family and complete strangers every single place I go. It took a minute to get used to the fact that not only would every trip I make outside of the house take 1 million times longer because of the circus act I have to perform to get everyone ready and out the door but also because of the amount I get stopped and given the Spanish inquisition. Listen, I can’t say I’m complaining (even though I absolutely am) because people are honestly just so kind and well intentioned. Every question is from people being generally curious about twins and they’re always so happy to get to interact with them so I do my best to always answer their questions smiling or at least with a general politeness (on a gradient scale based on how much I’ve already been stopped and asked the same questions).
Now, because there is so much curiosity about twins and how our life looks as new parents of twins – I thought I would share some of the most commonly asked questions.
Are they twins? No, I just happened to find one extra baby outside and figured 2 is better than 1. Also I have a thing for double strollers and struggling to fit places.
Are they boys or girls? Boys. Bold question in 2019.
Who’s the older twin? I’ve always found this to be a strange question because the answer if you want to get technical is NEITHER. They’ve existed for the exact same amount of time. But, Oliver was twin A and he was born 7 minutes before Everett was dragged out of my ribcage into the world 🙂
Are they identical? The answer I give to absolutely no one but is the truth: We do not know. There are a few different types of twins and if you don’t live in the land of multiples you maybe didn’t know that. I’m not going to go into a tutorial on the types of twins (because you don’t care probably) but ours are di/di twins, which long story short, means they have a 70% chance of being fraternal, 30% of being identical which is only confirmed through a DNA test that we have not done. The answer I give to everyone that asks me everyday? Literally whatever they ask, I say yes. Are they identical? Yes. Are they fraternal? Yes. Are they secretly llamas? Yes. This saves a lot of the above unnecessary explanation when truthfully, I’m pretty sure they don’t care & it’s entirely irrelevant information.
How do you tell them apart? I actually have a pretty easy time telling them apart. I do not know if that’s because of mom-tuition or because I’m with them 24 hours a day everyday so I’ve just kept excellent track up until now. We do have a few emergency tells though just in case: Everett has a “cherry hemangioma” on his back (which sounds WAY scarier than it really is – it’s basically a small red birthmark), and Oliver has a freckle on one of his toes. Full disclosure though, we do still mix them up, so…
How are they sleeping? I don’t know with their eyes closed like most humans? It feels weird when strangers ask me this question…because it always ends with me discussing my sleep patterns with a person I don’t know and that just seems like information that’s too intimate for them to have? They sleep bad sometimes and good sometimes. Babies…so inconsistent am I right?!
Are you still breastfeeding? No. I’ve discussed this ad nauseam so… please read my other blog posts for the super long-winded answer 🙂
How are you feeling? This question is almost exclusively asked by other parents of multiples (aka my most favourite people to talk to in public, I just feel like they get me) or obviously friends/family..not so much strangers. I go through big highs and lows, more than I even expected. The days when I feel like I have a good schedule with the boys and that there’s nice flow to the day I feel awesome and like an expert parent. When everything steadily falls apart from the second I open my eyes until I close them at night, I’m an absolute train-wreck. Balance.
How do you carry them both? Well, funny you should ask, I actually have this super convenient kangaroo pouch that came in the cereal box the twins came in! Carrying them has become increasingly difficult and has involved a lot more brain power as they’ve gotten older & heavier. I carried them both in their carseats until very recently when it got way too heavy and started causing more damage than already exists to my pool noodle of a spine. When I carry them just regularly I’ve got them pretty well ‘trained’ to hold on so they kind of koala onto the side of my body. It’s not so much the carrying that’s the issue it’s the picking up, but it looks something like this:
How was your pregnancy? Brutal, yet successful. It felt so long that I started to forget what it feels like to not be pregnant. I’ve mentioned it before but I had horrible hyperemesis gravidarum (BAD sickness) the whole pregnancy and was medicated (I was prescribed Diclectin) from about 2 months until basically the day I delivered. I also got ringworm all over my face very early in pregnancy, had horrible carpal tunnel in my hands and was just an overall mess the whole time. It made up for it that my babies were both super healthy the whole pregnancy and I carried them full-term which is less common with multiples.
Did you buy everything in twos? We have a lot of things in twos I’ll be honest. Anything that we do not have in twos they fight over, but really even when we do have things in twos they just want whatever their brother has so it’s a losing battle. We had two bouncers/swings when they could fit in them, two jumpers, two highchairs (duh) and more matching/doubles of clothes than I’m willing to admit. Truthfully I don’t think you need two of a lot of things except any of the things that restrain/contain them in any way throughout the day.
How do you keep them both busy all day? Honestly it is way more about them keeping me busy than the other way around. Their schedule/routine changes and has changed SO much since they were born but here’s a rough outline of what our day is right at this second (PSA: this routine has existed for literally under a week, it was different last week, so take it all with a grain of salt and not like I’m a parenting guru that should be followed. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I’M DOING.)
6/6:30am – wake & bottle – back to sleep – 7:30/8:00am – awake for the day, change & dress 8-9:00am – play 9:00am – Breakfast (I’ve been making these 3 ingredient banana pancakes lately – I’ll have the recipe shared on my Instagram/Facebook – that they LOVE!) 10:30/11:00am – Bottle & Nap 12/12:30am – Wake & Play 1:30pm – Lunch (I’ve been doing scrambled eggs and avocado, because my children are better fed than me.) 2:00pm – Play, more, because they’re endless pits of energy 24/7 2:30/3:00pm – Bottle & Nap 4:30pm – Wake & PLAY AGAIN (this is the point in the day where I start hitting a wall, which is where cold brew coffee typically comes in to save the day to get mama to bedtime) 6:00pm – Dinner (this really varies based on what we’re having for dinner, sometimes if we’re having something they can’t have i’ll make them some pasta with tomato sauce or we just do purees and toast) 7/7:30pm – Bath Time, a massive production every. single. day. 8:30pm – Bottle & Bedtime *That was almost as tiring to write out as it is to live it.
Ok, that’s enough of that. Thanks for stopping by! ♡♡♡
**Prints this out as a pamphlet to handout to the general public**