I hope everyone’s having a delightful Friday afternoon!
Once I got pregnant and honestly way before…basically since the day I could ask the internet questions and get answers I googled EV.ER.Y.THING. But once I got pregnant oh my gosh I googled and googled until my googler was sore. I have asked the internet honestly every question ever since the babies were born, so I thought I’d save any mama some time and give a few of my searches and some of the results I got. I can’t include them all. It’s too many.
This is legitimately from my browser history which I apparently never clear and honestly it explains a lot about how slow my computer is. It’s being waterboarded with google searches. Sorry computer.
First, there was about (not even exaggerating) 300 Amazon searches for a wide variety of baby items – most of them Harry Potter themed *not sorry*
I also trolled a LOT of other women’s baby registry’s because I knew nothing about baby needs
“How did you feel at 30 weeks” “30 weeks pregnant with twins and struggling” “twin pregnant 30 weeks and exhausted” (Like could you tell that I was really loving pregnancy?) “Is it normal to feel extremely tired 30 weeks pregnant twins”
“Drooling while sleeping pregnant” …… I don’t have any context for this but clearly it was a thing.
So many searches about how to apply for Maternity Leave. It honestly wasn’t even that complicated but according to my search history I STRUGGLED.
“Should we get an air conditioner” “Air conditioning Newborn” “Keeping newborn cool in summer” – spoiler alert: we did not get an air conditioner, our babies did not melt. Pretty obvious that I was a million years pregnant in the summer and dying of heat.
“Newborn sleep tips” Probably the most absolutely pointless search of all time. If you google this, there are 105 MILLION RESULTS. But I mean if you do search it – definitely do it at 3AM, there’s really no better time to fall down a google rabbit hole.
(A lot of Netflix….a lot…like too much…. was I ok??)
(More Harry Potter related nursery decor searches….I DIDN’T EVEN BUY ANY OF IT)
“Shaving during pregnancy” HAHAHAHAHA ugh.
“Things to pack for a hospital birth” Eesh I googled this a lot and truthfully, I brought too many things I never used. Basically, all I legitimately needed was pyjamas, some slippers, a phone charger and like… 8 bags of snacks. I do not recommend bringing only these things if you are not interested in looking like you walked out of a horror movie for the duration of your hospital stay. I could not possibly have cared less, so.
“How much help will I need with newborn twins” ……………….. all of it.
(Then I streamed every episode of “The Hills” … I hate myself)
Oooh man a lot of searches about circumcision which is not a debate I’m about to get myself into. All I’ll say is it’s a personal decision, be informed and lean into your choice & own it.
***BABIES WERE BORN***
“Why does my baby go crazy in the evening” Oh my gosh. I remember these days so well. So much screaming and crying (mostly by Derek and I).
“When does postpartum belly skin go away” …. ooph. 10 months & waiting although it does get better with time!
“What age do pacifiers affect teeth” I really thought this was going to be a major issue for us because when the boys were born they were SO dependent on soothers – and then one day they just stopped caring about them and we legitimately never use them anymore. Go figure.
*A PAINFUL amount of searches trying desperately to increase my breastmilk supply* None of them worked, breastfeeding journey ended… such is life.
“What dishwasher detergent is safe for babies” – Honestly I never really use the dishwasher still now for any of the baby stuff. I just hand wash and deal with it (this method does include a lot of complaining)
“Baby development milestones” I wish I had not searched this and I truly recommend not looking too far into these. Your baby will develop at their own pace – as I was told by a much more experienced parent than myself “you will not have an adult child that does not know how to sit up on their own and is always tipping over – they’ll get there eventually”. This also just gives really fun mental image of an adult man that keeps falling over anytime he tries to sit.
“Wait what am I doing” – Again, I have zero context for this search but it seems like an appropriate one to end this absurd list on!
That’s literally more than I and probably anyone else can tolerate.