Tiny Humans vs Clean House

So listen, full disclosure, let me start by saying I wasn’t a hyper-tidy person before I had kids. It isn’t like we were dirty I just wouldn’t say we highly prioritized being overly tidy all the time. We had moments, but on average we would have rather spent our time doing other things. Then, I had them, and I was home with them all the time, and can I just say one of the notes on the warning label that should come with all babies should have read “MAY RESULT IN OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE TENDENCIES”.

All of a sudden my house is covered in foam tiles and baby toys that they play with once and then they just chew on the tv remote like they were doing before anyway. The moment you think you’re ahead on cleaning you’re literally already 4 days behind. By the time you catch up on laundry you haven’t vacuumed the floor in 3 weeks. Also, by catch up I mean you’ve re-washed clothes that sat in the washer too long and now smell like a pond and then spun them around 12 times in the dryer because you kept forgetting they were in there.

I literally forget what the bottom of my sink even looks like because it’s constantly filled with bottle pieces that forever need cleaning. Like what’s down there? Diamonds? My sanity? I CAN’T REMEMBER.

This brings me to my next point – can we all collectively as moms/parents/humans of the world STOP PRETENDING LIKE YOUR HOUSE IS ALWAYS TIDY. Stop posting photos that show a perfectly clean house. You know you’re lying, we know you’re lying, my neighbour’s cat knows you’re lying…. the gig is up & we all decided you lost. (Clearly a pretty judgemental stance for someone striving to have a clean house…I didn’t say you would find consistency here). So, as a person legitimately failing to keep her house clean since the birth of my twinadoes you obviously came here for tips, well don’t you worry I have a few of those.

  1. Put a laundry basket in every single room of your house. That way none of them look full and so you’re always relatively convinced that you don’t have a ton of laundry to do (you still do though – isn’t that fun?)
  2. Stop pretending like your children will be in clean clothes longer than about 13 seconds after you put them in them in the morning. It’s better to just be realistic and accept that a lot of the time your children will have food on their clothes and will always be like a little bit wet.
  3. Make the investment in multiple diaper genies..this room gets a genie, that room gets a genie, every room gets a genie! (see point 1 for the reasons)
  4. Do not under any circumstance watch Marie Kondo. Unless you’re prepared to have your bathroom knee deep in Bath and Body Works lotion bottles because you chose the middle of the afternoon on a Wednesday 8 minutes before nap time was over to “spark your joy”, don’t do it. It will not spark joy. It will spark anxiety and lotion induced nervous breakdowns for days after.
  5. Stop caring about a clean house – everyone’s looking at your adorable babies anyway, nobody else cares about your piles of dishes (especially your husband).

Here’s the good news.

When you weren’t doing the laundry you were spending time holding up your tiny babies who decided they want to learn to walk and stand, and that’s awesome.

When you weren’t vacuuming you were teaching them to clap their hands and stack blocks, and that’s awesome.

When you weren’t cleaning bottles…ok, you really actually need to do that though…

Happy Friday Friends ♡♡

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