I had no semblance of a schedule. I was losing track of who ate what and how much and when. I couldn’t get either to nap for any reasonable amount of time. I cried for 15 minutes because they wouldn’t stop screaming and I didn’t know how to fix it. And the cherry on top – I HAD THEM MIXED UP FOR HALF THE DAY.
MIXED. THEM. UP.
My sweet mama buddy came by to have our weekly group mom therapy and she pointed out that I had them mixed up the whole morning. It turns out that only getting 3 hours of sleep (not in a row) really impacts your ability to function, and think…and tell your children apart. If you’re a new mom, or becoming a new mom, find a buddy. Find someone who doesn’t care if your house is clean, if you’re clean or if your kids are clean because literally none of the above ever are. Someone who understands and encourages your caffeine addiction. Someone who doesn’t call you a bad mom when you can’t tell your twins apart (even though that’s pretty clearly what it means).
I spent a large part of my afternoon trying to convince sleepy babies that don’t want to sleep, to go to sleep. If you don’t have babies or if you have magical babies that are suspiciously obedient (nobody believes you) and are curious what that feels like – have you ever tried to start a car that’s dead? Where you’re turning the key and the car is wailing because it wants to start, but can’t and so you’re mad and the car’s mad and everyone’s mad and you literally can’t go anywhere because THE CAR WON’T START. That’s what it feels like.
To summarize, today the inside of my brain sounds like a paper shredder.